12 of Donald Trump's Professional Athlete Endorsements, Ranked

What’s the best way to choose who you’re going to vote for in the general election? By which party they’re running for? By picking the lesser of two evils? The meticulous study of their proposed policies in relation to said policies’ feasibility, and likelihood that the candidate will actually enact them? All worthwhile pursuits, but what really clinches a vote in this country is celebrity endorsements. And if you’re Donald Trump, those celebrity endorsements aren’t going to come from the liberal wingnuts over in Hollyweird, no, they’re going to come from athletes.

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What if Dr. Ben Carson still practiced medicine?

Based on a true story.

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PATIENT 1: Ouch, Dr. Carson! My tooth's been aching.

BEN CARSON: OH MY GOD YOU HAVE AIDS

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PATIENT 2: My back's been killing me, doc. Should I take some Tylen-

BEN CARSON: THIS IS WORSE THAN SLAVERY

PATIENT 2: Whoa, it's not that bad. I only feel it when it's cold outside.

BEN CARSON: AIDSSSSSSS

***

PATIENT 3: I tripped on a confederate flag while attending a Tea Party rally you spoke at. Scraped my knee up pretty rough.

BEN CARSON: ANARCHY IS IMMINENT WILL WE EVEN HAVE ELECTIONS IN 2016? Oh, well okay that's not so severe. Now, what was I saying about Nazi Germany?

Washington Post: I'm Lecrae's "friendly critic"

Very cool week or so in Bradford-land. First, the fine fellows at Christ and Pop Culture tasked me with covering Lecrae's latest album, Anomaly. TL;DR, the message was ambitious but the execution was uneven. More grateful than I can express for Rich Clark and the CAPC editing team. They are helping me become a better communicator with every interaction.

Still luv u, 'Crae

Still luv u, 'Crae

My Anomaly review traveled farther than I expected. Sarah Pulliam Bailey of RNS wrote up a nice summary of Lecrae's recent success (Fallon Tonight performance, #1 on Billboard 200, etc.) that was syndicated in the Washington Post! My mom must be hella proud. All this while wifey and I were in the Bay Area on vacation! Talk about a working holiday.

Glad Sarah referred to me as a "friendly critic." I'm a Lecrae fan, and love what dude is accomplishing. I look forward to his endeavors while hoping for artistic growth.

Please don't hate me, Lecrae.

History is only history when everyone looks good

Actual quote from actual book review about American slavery, from The Economist:

"Mr. Baptist has not written an objective history of slavery. Almost all the blacks in his book are victims, almost all the whites villains. This is not history; it is advocacy."

lol, log off bruh.

But for real, what's the point of recording events if you can't accurately report who was at fault? Let's keep this line of thought going, right?

"The author has not written an objective history of the Holocaust. Almost all the Jews are victims, almost all the Germans villains. This is not history; it is advocacy."

"The author has not written an objective history of the American Revolution. Almost all the Americans are victims, almost all the British are victims. This is not history; it is advocacy."

"The author has not written an objective history of imperialism. Almost all the indigenous are victims, almost all the Europeans villains. This is not history; it is advocacy."

Oooh, I'm having fun! Let's keep this up!

"The author has not written an objective history of Scientific Revolution. Almost all the scientists are victims, almost all the Magisterium villains."

"The author has not written an objective history of the late Roman empire. Almost all the Christians are victims, almost all the Romans villains."

I know the adage "history is written by the victor", but "it's wrong to say movements in history were wrong" is pretty disappointing, especially for a respectable publication like The Economist.